You’ve got to be kidding me.

No really, that’s what I very literally thought when I first heard about Hasbro’s new Ms. Monopoly game where female players get paid more than male players because they’re female.  You know, like Hasbro reversed the gender wage gap!  So adorable!  I was (again… not joking here) 100% sure it was an Onion article or something.  It was far too ridiculous to be real.

But oh no… it’s very real.

The game’s whole concept gets a Go Directly to Jail card before it ever passes GO.  The idea that women are paid less than men for the same work in the US is based completely on tragically and blatantly faulty math.  When you include work experience, age and career choice (important variables, you might think!) in the calculation of the pay of men and women… poof!  The gender wage gap just goes away.  Like doesn’t exist.  Not real.  Fabricated.  You get the idea.

But let’s ignore the completely unsound and misleading reason for Ms. Monopoly’s existence and move onto the rule where female players get paid more than male players in the game.  Please tell me this: what remotely thoughtful feminist or women’s rights advocate would be in favor of a game that blatantly implies women need different rules than men in order to compete with them?  It’s a terrific insult to women, many of whom would easily crush me in a straight-up game of Monopoly.

Typically, people invent false drama to advance causes and bolster party alliances. Today’s example is at least novel in that it aims instead at generating profit. Either way, Llama emphatically says, “no” to fake drama. We have plenty of real issues to worry about.